Annoying Spell-Check

So Google's spell-check allows non-agreeing clauses and when enabled to do auto-correct, inserts whatever is closest. Grrr... this, coupled with my light typing style, ends up embarrassing me. I hate how my words get mangled by technology.

I am working on a post about birthdays and our girl but have been frustrated by the technology and have therefore delayed it. It will be up soon.

Update issues

The photos are overdue. I'll get to them, but it's still hard to look at them and see her face so many times and keep it together. I'll probably end up posting the last two chapters on Otto
first. I have been home today from work, and not at the top of my game, so no update today.

A little hiatus due to fire... and selling stuff

Well, I did it. I almost burned down the house last night, hence no post. I was making some beans that take hours to cook (Lima -dried- beans). A neighbor who needed some help with their computer came over and I walked away...

I forgot the beans. Seamus was fine, but the pot of beans became a smoke generator. The fire department aired the house out for me after ascertaining that the pot of food was all that burned. Thanks, gents. Seamus is okay and was under the bed, but he coughed a lot today when I came home from work.

I need to get my head together, but I have a million things to do still and a bunch of crap to handle. I'll get there.

Tomorrow, I have friends coming over who work in the vintage clothing business to root through Marcie's things. Curt and Kirsten from Frock You will take a look. Everything will go that they want except for things I personally want to keep, like the wedding dress and some other little items special to me.

It's going to be painful to see them rummage around, but at least they will be familiar faces doing it, not utter strangers. It will all, of course, go into the kitty for the big mission.

At any rate, I will catch up over the weekend. I need to get out and stretch my legs after being a gang task force conference all afternoon for the district.

Once again: the house is not damaged, the cat is unharmed (sporting a cuddlier attitude after the fright), I'm okayish. More posts tomorrow or later tonight if I feel poetic.

F.

Upset at myself

I found more of Marcie's written materials last night, from this year's birthday, but I appear to have mislaid it. There were also more notes from her from the Humboldt visit and other occasions. I am quite distraught. On top of that, Christi's computer lost a lot of information during the storm in Northern California. Jane thinks some pictures went with it.

I did not bring my own camera because, though I was on almost a tour the last night, I was hosting them and wanted to focus on sharing before my visit ended. We'll see if Christi has those images on camera still (via memory card) and I'll post some other time if so.

I can't do this stuff today, too much is on my mind. I feel as if I have lost a part of Marcie, but I have decided to let it find me. Besides, I have already torn the trash apart looking for it... crap.

On a more positive note, I have a new reader. Teej, the commenter below, has a blog, too... I will be linking and tracking back, maybe.

See you Monday, folks.

F.

Technical Issues

Due to a camera that did not record what I needed it to, I will have to postpone sharing Marcie's last list. Rest assured, it is coming and I am ready to share it. I will also be talking about a movie I watched very recently with Marcie which just wrung my soul out.

Bah. Hours wasted on a file that was corrupt. Bad batteries! Bad!

Marcie Has Gone

My baby is gone. Our world is that much darker. It happened at about midnight. She was in great pain, panting and struggling, so I called the hospice nurse, who upped her medication. When I checked on her, she had slipped the bonds of her flesh. I am thoroughly and utterly crushed.

The Fever

I have been fighting Marcie's fever the whole day. It spiked after I moved her this morning. I got some water down her and tried to get her antibiotics in. I have switched from liquids to apple sauce and yogurt as bases to mix her medicines in, as she cannot swallow well and may soon lose that ability wholly.

Unless she turns a corner, this could be it. She did not have her usual evening wide awake time today, but has been struggling and her breathing is rapid. She also has some discomfort, so I will be trying to give her medication again, which she has been refusing.

Six Hours Later

It took six hours to get the oxygen concentrator. The medications came shortly after that. On one hand, the gurgling is gone. On the other, there is now a tube on Marcie's nose. It isn't breathing for her, but it's there.

No food for Marcie tonight, but she did have some orange juice with the new antibiotic, which was prescribed to fight off her new fever. It was prescribed as a 10-day course, but arrived with only 7 pills. I will try a late meal.

On the Outside

I spent the night turning Marcie from side to side to keep her from gurgling when she breathes. She has not been swallowing, so some of her food and soup may have gone down the wrong pipe. Later, I am going to make Marcie a little cocktail of honey and a drug we were prescribed to help cut down on the secretion of mucus into her throat.

Marcie is occasionally lucid, but so far has not taken in any water, or has tried but cannot swallow it. According to the hospice nurse, Marcie has two weeks, and that is "at the outside." I am doing what I can to make that not the case, but without some intake of water, death could come at the hands of an infection and a fever.

Thank you for all your thoughts and prayer of support. I share them when she is lucid, though all she can really do is nod in response.

The Vigil Begins

Marcie is not taking liquids of any kind now. She's awake, but she is refusing. I can't blame her. She has a lot of trouble breathing and has liquid in her chest, from what I hear. I do not believe Kaiser personnel who told me it was in her throat yesterday. She takes shallow, rapid, rattling, ragged breaths.

Keep her in your thoughts, if you are not dodging fires and sorting out evacuations or cancellations of them. Her mom, Barbara, is here and watching her with me.

I am able to administer some medication by crushing the drugs, suspending it in honey, then putting it under her tongue with a syringe. It was my own idea, and it works fairly well. Just a tip for anyone visiting from outside our circle of friends.