Saturday, June 7, 2008

Before the Quirks

As I reflected on the aspects of Marcie that made her so unique, I realized that I would not be giving a whole or complete view of her without extolling some of the things I admired about her.

Quirks and unique eccentricities and creative things are all things we enjoyed. But what we sometimes overlook are those aspects of people which define their person.

Marcie was a mother. She did not have children, nor did she want them. But understanding her meant knowing what she did, and what she did was take care of people.

Marcie provided everyone she cared for with love. It was not always the unconditional acceptance they wanted from her, but it was love nonetheless. She underwent much for family and friends, put herself out when necessary and generally wrapped us all in blanket of her beneficence.

Marcie transformed the way I thought of mothers and the function of mothering itself. In my own experience, there were few positive models to build a view of mothers. Those I had were flawed in ways that had somehow harmed me or caused disdain.

My own had left when I was turning nine to essentially run around with criminals. I knew many "can't wait until they are 18" types who smacked me as more inconvenienced than happy about their motherhood.

In foster care, I met single mothers, some of whom became welfare mothers, some of whom would desperately cling to the nearest man who would look at them. Divorce and inconstancy of heart was everywhere and broken children the norm for me.

Foster mothers? We won't even go there. Suffice to say that in the 1980s, there was a shortage of them and the business end of it all was good, and they knew it.

Mothers weren't doing too well in my book.

Marcie and I had a very good relationship on a lot of levels. But what swayed me, so very opposed early on to marriage, to decide I could marry her was that she took care of me as much like a mother as she did a lover.

Don't get me wrong here. She was not my mother by any measure. But she illustrated a better and more motherly aspect in her relationships, including ours, than most women I had known in lie.

She had a lot of practice at it, and I am making a list of the weight she carried in her life, as mother to all, even her own.

I will post that in detail, then something closer to her and me afterward before we explore her quirks, starting with her characters.

Friday, June 6, 2008

The Quirks of Queen Marcie - Characters

Among Marcie's most endearing quirks was her curiosity about people and their lives. This came, of course, from her innate voyeuristic tendencies and intellectual curiosity, but it also beautifully stimulated one of her most wonderful qualities, her creative side.

Marcie was not content to simply people-watch, but her usually reserved nature meant that she never asked the questions of people she most wondered about. She simply wondered and imagined the answers for herself.

Usually, the answers were, when combined with her detailed observations, hilarious.

As the first of her quirks I will explore, I wanted to nail down what she called "characters." This label was based on their actions and qualities, but with fanciful embellishments, they became characters in the literary sense, fully fleshed and realized in Marcie's mind.

It was a privilege to hear her stories, true, imagined, or mixed gleefully for her own internal amusement, and I hope you enjoy them. Our cast includes:

"Otto Van Otterson," "RiverMannonite," "MumbletyPeggy," and "The Shaker." These are people about whom Marcie thought her most fanciful things and convulted, unfounded but amusing stories.

I hope that, over the next week or so, you enjoy exploring this foremost among Marcie's quirks, her ability to amuse herself by filling in the details she does not have with those she would most enjoy.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Marcie's quirks

Marcie had some quirks, as we all do. For me, they were endearing little aberrations which led me to her more strongly. I think I will reflect on these before they are lost over the next few days, as they are just as important a part of her as all the things that were conventionally good.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

The Big Scrap

I will be building a big gallery of Marcie's pictures, both from her albums and from the boxes of loose pictures she left behind. This will be a long-term project. I intend to make it a social project so that people can help classify and label the photos.

I will sen more information as the project develops. This will not be easy for me. I have avoided flipping through pictures and albums with people because I get overwhelmed. Just be patient...

Thanks, folks.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Just a simple sharing post

Marcie was worried that I would be too overwhelmed to function when she left me behind. We spent sad days preparing and making sure I knew where to find materials, checkbooks, bills, records and all manner of household business items.

I have had occasion to change my insurance and add new documents to the pile I keep in the Elantra. But I never took apart the whole bundle when I did, I discovered another one of Marcie's little notes, guiding me on what she thought I might not understand.

It doesn't matter that I may not have needed it. It was her way of nesting a note somewhere I would find it months later. I still hope to find more.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Affirmation: Another Note

I have always wondered if these dreams constitute any connection between Marcie and I, or if they are just the workings of my mind, weaving tapestries to occupy my thoughts and soothe me.

I have explained how I feel about the intertwining of phenomena and perception, especially as it regards the potential for life and ego survival beyond death. But a path to acceptance of life after death does not a proof make.

Regardless, the merest of coincidences can do so much for me as I face Marcie's absence. She seemed to have wanted me to run into her in my daily life long after she was gone. Her presence, as was the case before her death, is one of assistance and a deep understanding of me.

I have found another note. This note clarified a part of our lives and a function I have to assume that Marcie previously handled for us. I will share it tomorrow, when I have had time to fully formulate a context that relays the depth the simple missive otherwise hides from the reader.

Have a good Sunday, folks. F.