"Honey, have you ever heard... ?" she asked.
I would nod and smile and she would shake her head, troubled.
"Have you ever heard.. ?"
"No, not that one," I would say. "Who is it by?"
The list of bands whose more obscure songs she liked was extensive, and although I knew the music, she was pulling tracks from earlier works than those my slightly younger years would recall clearly.
As her I-tunes list grew and I converted the songs, then placed them on CDs and finally an open-standards MP3 player, I noticed she asked me to download and place songs more rarely, but when she did, the same ritual was played out.
Only the ones I had not heard or did not have recollection of, usually by bands I knew, were on her list. But I was not to listen to her MP3 player. That changed the day she was in the hospital and I visited. She smiled her lopsided grin and held my hand.
"There's some good music on my MP3 player," she said.
I thought it was a thank you for me, or perhaps a little request, so I asked.
"Do you want me to bring it to you?" I asked.
She shook her head. "No, you listen to it."
I didn't get around to it until before I went to San Francisco, then I listened when I got back again. Every song is a message, and they all hurt right now.
But the one that hurts most at the moment is one that mirrors something I told her when she decided she would likely not make it. From The Smithereens, one of my favorite groups ever, she shared two songs. The first kills me the most.
I don't know if it's her promise or my own she chose this for. But it sounds like my guide right now.
Kiss Your Tears Away
And now it's time to go to bed
My darling rest your weary head
But I have work I should begin
So I will tuck you in
And I will kiss your tears away
I never thought I'd run to you
I thought I'd better things to do
But now I can't wait for the day
When by your side I'll lay
And I will kiss your tears away
I will give you everything
I will make your every dream come true
I will be the one you need
You know I'm the one to see you through
I will give you everything
I will make your every dream come true
I will be the one you need
You know I'm the one to see you through
And now it's time to go to bed
My darling rest your weary head
But I have work I should begin
So I will tuck you in
And I will kiss your tears away
I remember kissing her tears from her face and holding her, especially in those last few weeks, especially after a tough visit or a rough day. I wish I could have, as painful as those days were, had more days to.
Moments of Marcie is not about just being text-heavy and all that. We do multimedia. You can hear this selection by m=our Marcie free and legal by clicking right here.
I have been trying to look ahead and stretch my wings a bit, but as I share more of her song selections, you'll see where I stumble and why.
Night for now,
F.
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