Running has become my balm, my healing motion, my security blanket. I run like a fool, and I thoroughly enjoy it. I can start a run in a thoroughly depressed state and will finish it in a tired but elevated mood every time.
I have been running in my little neighborhood since before Marcie passed on and have built my distance from 2-3 miles all the way up to about 8, pushing to 13.1 every two weeks and dropping back down (to build speed) until I peak up again, adding a tenth or two each cycle.
Usually, I just run a little loop through places that I have walked with her. I am going to make little tours of our neighborhood, adding places to visit and some sound files. My hope is to let people walk in our footsteps a little and give them things to discover on the way.
You'll know when it happens, of course.
For now, here is my running path, replete itself in Marcie's walking haunts and as-yet unlabeled kitty pal stops.
Showing posts with label Resources. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Resources. Show all posts
Monday, August 4, 2008
Saturday, July 19, 2008
The Skunk Hunter
Seamus decided the other night that he was tired of the skunk who had made my patio his buffet. Cue malevolent theme music...
I fell asleep with just the screen closed, having attended to some overdue reading of Mother Jones. I woke at 1:18 to Seamus's fight growling.
I look out on the patio for the other cat and ran outside to get Seamus. He was foaming at the mouth and shaking his head, his eyes squinted almost shut.
I reached down to get him and froze. Hiding behind the tall plant was a black shape with a distinct racing stripe of white down the side. I saw it precisely as my adrenalin-enhanced sense of smell was finally tuned in.
A fat little skunk. Its black eyes locked with mine and it walked backwards a bit. Seamus went to dart at it and its tail went up just as I scruffed him and dragged him backward.
The skunk came out from the plant just a little, and its tail went down as I retreated, stinking cat in hand, through the screen.
I took Seamus into the bathroom and closed the door, gather up the bathroom rugs and all the other cloth in the area, and locked him in. I checked the screen and it locked when I tried to close it again. He had smashed through it.
I had no tomato juice, no supplies and no idea where to look at 1:20 AM. I scanned the grocery store websites. Ralph's and Food For Less are apparently 24 hours. Off to Gay Ralph's I went.
I grabbed some hydrogen peroxide, standard shampoo, and baking soda, then some tomato juice for good measure. I also bought some treats for bribes.
When I got home, he was screaming to get out. At times like these, I am possessed by an irrational thought... that cats can be reasoned with in a chastening way. It may not be productive, but it passes time and serves as interaction through doors.
"YOWWWW!" he cried.
"Well, you can't just go and beat up every animal you see," I said as I mixed the recipe preferred by mythbusters:
"Well, doors that are closed and locked are to keep kitties in and critters out," I said, getting a pitcher to rinse him with and some extra supplies.
When I had a bowl of the secret recipe mixed, I gathered up some disposable linens and went in. The bathroom was safe, as Seamus was simply hovering by the door, awaiting his escape. He engaged me in more heated howling conversation.
"NYOOWWW!"
"Well, it's only for a little while. You need a bath!"
"OWWWW! NgggYOOOOWWW!"
"I know you don't like them, but you can't spread skunk spray all over the house," I said, filling the tub a few inches.
"RRRooowww!"
"Yes, as soon as you don't smell like marching death in a stinky shit band, you can go lay down," I said.
"Mmmmrrrrr," he said, plopping on his belly, panting from the stress.
I gave him a treat and he perked up a bit. The washing began.
I used body-temperature water for the whole process. It helps and keeps a cat calm. Slightly warmer is fine, but even a little cooler will bring howls of disdain and escape attempts.
For stage one, I washed him with pure Dawn. I was careful around his eyes and massaged it deeply into the huge spray-spot on his sternum to break up the greasy base containing the thiols from the skunk.
I rinsed him off, then drained the water and cleared the tub of his massive hair clog, then refilled. The smell was lessening. Seamus walked into a corner and peed, which I mopped up with a throwaway towel. He purred as he was given a treat and then stood by the door.
"YEE-OWWWWW!" he demanded.
"Not yet, you still smell like three-day-old roadkill tartar with a side of shit stew," I said, snickering a bit in my sleepiness.
"YOOOWWWW!" he said, pawing at the door.
I scruffed him and back into the water he went. I finished working out the spot on his chest and soaked him to the bone, looking for scratches or bites all over his body, as skunks are known to carry rabies. No bites. Good news!
The mix went on as a soapy soak, and Seamus disliked the cooler mix of fluids immediately. But he did not lick, and I let him soak for the 10-15 minutes asked. In the meantime, I went into the kicthen and boiled ammonia and set out cheap bowls of coffee grinds.
"YOWWW!"
"I will be back in after you soak, just calm down."
(Tap-tap-scritch) "YOWWWW!"
"Leave the door alone, that's how you got into this mess!"
"Mrrr.... Mrrrrowwwww... Mmmff"
"Good boy, I will be back soon," I said, opening the door a crack and tossing in a treat.
Once the vinegar was boiling and grinds were out, back in I went. Seamus put up with the indignity of yet another rinsing, his coat now a bleached, lighter shade.
I ran more water after cleaning the drain and soaked him in tomato juice then left to check on the other measures, adding candles and incense to my smell battle. I stopped and tossed a treat to him in the back corner. He ate it and laid back down, sighing big.
After soaking him for 15 minutes in tomato juice, I washed him off completely and patted him until he could take it no longer. The smell was almost completely defeated.
I went to sleep at 4 AM. Seamus hid in the closet with his mother's old clothes, but it smelled clean he next day. I worked a long day exhausted, but he seemed fine. Joy.
I need a new screen door.
I fell asleep with just the screen closed, having attended to some overdue reading of Mother Jones. I woke at 1:18 to Seamus's fight growling.
I look out on the patio for the other cat and ran outside to get Seamus. He was foaming at the mouth and shaking his head, his eyes squinted almost shut.
I reached down to get him and froze. Hiding behind the tall plant was a black shape with a distinct racing stripe of white down the side. I saw it precisely as my adrenalin-enhanced sense of smell was finally tuned in.
A fat little skunk. Its black eyes locked with mine and it walked backwards a bit. Seamus went to dart at it and its tail went up just as I scruffed him and dragged him backward.
The skunk came out from the plant just a little, and its tail went down as I retreated, stinking cat in hand, through the screen.
I took Seamus into the bathroom and closed the door, gather up the bathroom rugs and all the other cloth in the area, and locked him in. I checked the screen and it locked when I tried to close it again. He had smashed through it.
I had no tomato juice, no supplies and no idea where to look at 1:20 AM. I scanned the grocery store websites. Ralph's and Food For Less are apparently 24 hours. Off to Gay Ralph's I went.
I grabbed some hydrogen peroxide, standard shampoo, and baking soda, then some tomato juice for good measure. I also bought some treats for bribes.
When I got home, he was screaming to get out. At times like these, I am possessed by an irrational thought... that cats can be reasoned with in a chastening way. It may not be productive, but it passes time and serves as interaction through doors.
"YOWWWW!" he cried.
"Well, you can't just go and beat up every animal you see," I said as I mixed the recipe preferred by mythbusters:
- 1/4 cup of baking soda
- 1 quart of hydrogen peroxide
- 1 tsp of grease-cutting dish washing fluid
"Well, doors that are closed and locked are to keep kitties in and critters out," I said, getting a pitcher to rinse him with and some extra supplies.
When I had a bowl of the secret recipe mixed, I gathered up some disposable linens and went in. The bathroom was safe, as Seamus was simply hovering by the door, awaiting his escape. He engaged me in more heated howling conversation.
"NYOOWWW!"
"Well, it's only for a little while. You need a bath!"
"OWWWW! NgggYOOOOWWW!"
"I know you don't like them, but you can't spread skunk spray all over the house," I said, filling the tub a few inches.
"RRRooowww!"
"Yes, as soon as you don't smell like marching death in a stinky shit band, you can go lay down," I said.
"Mmmmrrrrr," he said, plopping on his belly, panting from the stress.
I gave him a treat and he perked up a bit. The washing began.
I used body-temperature water for the whole process. It helps and keeps a cat calm. Slightly warmer is fine, but even a little cooler will bring howls of disdain and escape attempts.
For stage one, I washed him with pure Dawn. I was careful around his eyes and massaged it deeply into the huge spray-spot on his sternum to break up the greasy base containing the thiols from the skunk.
I rinsed him off, then drained the water and cleared the tub of his massive hair clog, then refilled. The smell was lessening. Seamus walked into a corner and peed, which I mopped up with a throwaway towel. He purred as he was given a treat and then stood by the door.
"YEE-OWWWWW!" he demanded.
"Not yet, you still smell like three-day-old roadkill tartar with a side of shit stew," I said, snickering a bit in my sleepiness.
"YOOOWWWW!" he said, pawing at the door.
I scruffed him and back into the water he went. I finished working out the spot on his chest and soaked him to the bone, looking for scratches or bites all over his body, as skunks are known to carry rabies. No bites. Good news!
The mix went on as a soapy soak, and Seamus disliked the cooler mix of fluids immediately. But he did not lick, and I let him soak for the 10-15 minutes asked. In the meantime, I went into the kicthen and boiled ammonia and set out cheap bowls of coffee grinds.
"YOWWW!"
"I will be back in after you soak, just calm down."
(Tap-tap-scritch) "YOWWWW!"
"Leave the door alone, that's how you got into this mess!"
"Mrrr.... Mrrrrowwwww... Mmmff"
"Good boy, I will be back soon," I said, opening the door a crack and tossing in a treat.
Once the vinegar was boiling and grinds were out, back in I went. Seamus put up with the indignity of yet another rinsing, his coat now a bleached, lighter shade.
I ran more water after cleaning the drain and soaked him in tomato juice then left to check on the other measures, adding candles and incense to my smell battle. I stopped and tossed a treat to him in the back corner. He ate it and laid back down, sighing big.
After soaking him for 15 minutes in tomato juice, I washed him off completely and patted him until he could take it no longer. The smell was almost completely defeated.
I went to sleep at 4 AM. Seamus hid in the closet with his mother's old clothes, but it smelled clean he next day. I worked a long day exhausted, but he seemed fine. Joy.
I need a new screen door.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
The Big Scrap
I will be building a big gallery of Marcie's pictures, both from her albums and from the boxes of loose pictures she left behind. This will be a long-term project. I intend to make it a social project so that people can help classify and label the photos.
I will sen more information as the project develops. This will not be easy for me. I have avoided flipping through pictures and albums with people because I get overwhelmed. Just be patient...
Thanks, folks.
I will sen more information as the project develops. This will not be easy for me. I have avoided flipping through pictures and albums with people because I get overwhelmed. Just be patient...
Thanks, folks.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Marcie's favorite foods: Stuffed Treats
Marcie loved stuffed foods. Be it a chicken breast stuffed with feta cheese and sun-dried tomato with a bit of oil or white wine to cut it, or a mushroom cap filled with alouette and baked with a bit of red bell pepper chopped in the bottom, a tamale or an empanada, Marcie loved her stuffed foods. Some favorites:
1. Twice-baked potato topped lightly with with cheddar, bacon and chives, sour cream on the side or mixed into the stuffing before the second baking (halves or deep skins)
2. Twice-baked potato with Parmesan shavings atop, garlic, green onion and Italian herbs in the stuffing (halves) Served aside an Aioli-parsley covered steak and cold salad.
3. Stuffed RED bell peppers (made by me) with Spanish or yellow rice soaked in a tomato puree with tomato diced with green onions, cilantro and chives in a red wine, garlic and cayenne or paprika reduction. Topped with crushed flax, almonds and bread crumbs before baking...
4. The same as 3, but containing sauteed tiny bits of seed-removed Serrano peppers and red onions, stacked on chopped rare-cooked steak in the vertical middle of the pepper and covered with more rice and then soaked in the tomato base (it all finishes in the baking). She decided she liked this hotter variant after getting one of mine she initially was grossed out over. 5. Stuffed mushrooms of ANY sort, any size, and almost any stuffing, especially featuring roasted peppers.
6. Stuffed chicken breasts: (a) black olive tapenade, fresh tomato and alouette with a lemon-garlic-sherry-pepper sauce on the plate. Asparagus side. (b) feta, green olive tapenade processed with basil and capers, baked covered and then finished with a quick broil after being rubbed with a lemon on both sides and spiced to taste. Served cut into slices over a simple olive oil-tossed, basil-and-pasta, mixed-vegetable plate. (c) the above wine-based selection.
7. ANY empanada will do. ANY empanada, from the standard beef to the chicken and the pork.
8. Tamales, including dessert tamales such as the pineapple, cinnamon and apple, and other sweet variants.
9. Stuffed chicken in too many variants to list here, but especially with pine nuts and garlic, bread crumbs and a mix of white wine and broth. She loved those ingredients passionately
10. Stuffed pork chops with crushed rosemary and apple pieces, and a creamy sauce that included sage and peppercorns.
There are more, but I am hungry... I'll do this again tomorrow.
1. Twice-baked potato topped lightly with with cheddar, bacon and chives, sour cream on the side or mixed into the stuffing before the second baking (halves or deep skins)
2. Twice-baked potato with Parmesan shavings atop, garlic, green onion and Italian herbs in the stuffing (halves) Served aside an Aioli-parsley covered steak and cold salad.
3. Stuffed RED bell peppers (made by me) with Spanish or yellow rice soaked in a tomato puree with tomato diced with green onions, cilantro and chives in a red wine, garlic and cayenne or paprika reduction. Topped with crushed flax, almonds and bread crumbs before baking...
4. The same as 3, but containing sauteed tiny bits of seed-removed Serrano peppers and red onions, stacked on chopped rare-cooked steak in the vertical middle of the pepper and covered with more rice and then soaked in the tomato base (it all finishes in the baking). She decided she liked this hotter variant after getting one of mine she initially was grossed out over. 5. Stuffed mushrooms of ANY sort, any size, and almost any stuffing, especially featuring roasted peppers.
6. Stuffed chicken breasts: (a) black olive tapenade, fresh tomato and alouette with a lemon-garlic-sherry-pepper sauce on the plate. Asparagus side. (b) feta, green olive tapenade processed with basil and capers, baked covered and then finished with a quick broil after being rubbed with a lemon on both sides and spiced to taste. Served cut into slices over a simple olive oil-tossed, basil-and-pasta, mixed-vegetable plate. (c) the above wine-based selection.
7. ANY empanada will do. ANY empanada, from the standard beef to the chicken and the pork.
8. Tamales, including dessert tamales such as the pineapple, cinnamon and apple, and other sweet variants.
9. Stuffed chicken in too many variants to list here, but especially with pine nuts and garlic, bread crumbs and a mix of white wine and broth. She loved those ingredients passionately
10. Stuffed pork chops with crushed rosemary and apple pieces, and a creamy sauce that included sage and peppercorns.
There are more, but I am hungry... I'll do this again tomorrow.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Taking the time to do it all
Well, folks, it looks like I will finally be catching up on all of my "to do" stuff this week. As of Friday, I am taking a week of leave from work. It has to be done. Some plans I have for the week include:
Wish me luck, and watch for the new store and other efforts. If everything goes well, who knows? Maybe I'll have time for a road trip. Maybe Humboldt this time...
Thanks for reading on. I know I owe all of you a wedding video, but it looks terrible and scratchy, so I am going to try to transfer it all over again this weekend. I do have a poem for tomorrow... and news later tonight.
Much love,
F.
- Start the online store and pack it with Marcie's and my things
- Begin selling off the household goods and the appliances
- Start building a memory box for Marcie so I can store what is meaningful enough to keep
- Rebuild a wardrobe, since everything is just too big now
- Tend to my financial health (tax appointment Saturday, portfolio adjustments)
- Start gathering consular information on the international transportation of ashen remains
- Crank out a few dozen résumés and cover letters for good-sounding jobs
- Reconnect with Marcie's family and get them over or take them out for a dinner
Wish me luck, and watch for the new store and other efforts. If everything goes well, who knows? Maybe I'll have time for a road trip. Maybe Humboldt this time...
Thanks for reading on. I know I owe all of you a wedding video, but it looks terrible and scratchy, so I am going to try to transfer it all over again this weekend. I do have a poem for tomorrow... and news later tonight.
Much love,
F.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
A new blogger calls
Everyone say hello to Lana Banana, a blogger who popped in to say hello and show a little support. She's a teacher, journalism adviser (I'd love to use the "o" but the AP says, "no") and blogger from LaLa (LA) land.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
The Last Recipes
The final recipe, Nutty Rice with mixed stir-fry, will be posted tomorrow. By Wednesday, the recipes will not be available online. Please save copies now if you would like to keep them.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Some Plan Progress
So, I have been working on book and article proposals in addition to a few other items. Unfortunately, it's slow going with every day spent at work and most people in the media businesses hard at work during the same hours. We'll see what comes of it all, if anything. I still have time.
I have sold one of our DVDs. The Bourne Files, the first two Bourne videos and a bonus DVD in a collector's edition kit, was shipped out yesterday. I also shipped out a package Marcie herself prepared with a relevant find or two she did not have set aside and ready to go.
I'll be picking up some spot work at my old newspaper over the Christmas holiday. I am probably looking at a few days of work and maybe an article or two. We'll see. It all goes into the kitty for the plan.
I am considering either taking the blog private (invitation-only) or promoting it heavily. One plan involves trying to get on "Hey Mom, I am on 91x," using my old connections there to do it and, shaping the whole thing around a time line of songs and artists, then spring boarding off of that if it proves popular with listeners.
The bonus there would be a podcast of my show if Steve West picks me, which I would put on memory sticks for people and post online (here). We'll see. If you have ideas, please email them via or use the comment/feedback function. Thanks, folks.
F.
I have sold one of our DVDs. The Bourne Files, the first two Bourne videos and a bonus DVD in a collector's edition kit, was shipped out yesterday. I also shipped out a package Marcie herself prepared with a relevant find or two she did not have set aside and ready to go.
I'll be picking up some spot work at my old newspaper over the Christmas holiday. I am probably looking at a few days of work and maybe an article or two. We'll see. It all goes into the kitty for the plan.
I am considering either taking the blog private (invitation-only) or promoting it heavily. One plan involves trying to get on "Hey Mom, I am on 91x," using my old connections there to do it and, shaping the whole thing around a time line of songs and artists, then spring boarding off of that if it proves popular with listeners.
The bonus there would be a podcast of my show if Steve West picks me, which I would put on memory sticks for people and post online (here). We'll see. If you have ideas, please email them via or use the comment/feedback function. Thanks, folks.
F.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Things to look forward to
Hello, folks.
I will be adding new elements to the site soon. I will also be disclosing my plans to further memorialize my baby, our Marcie, as I catch my breath. For now, some simple things I hope will help you all remember her, whether you were able to attend her remembrances or not, will soon be on the site.
Planned or in the works are the following:
I will be adding new elements to the site soon. I will also be disclosing my plans to further memorialize my baby, our Marcie, as I catch my breath. For now, some simple things I hope will help you all remember her, whether you were able to attend her remembrances or not, will soon be on the site.
Planned or in the works are the following:
- A Photo Gallery
- A link to an archive of printable photos
- A flash presentation of the memory book from the ceremony
- Fresher links with more relevance to grief, breast cancer, etcetera
- More poems
- Stories from friends and relatives about Marcie
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Update On Details
I still don't have a final location for the proceedings, and I am trying to nail down either Friday or Saturday for the event. Currently, they are running neck-and-neck. Whatever the end result, the celebration of life will begin at 5:30 PM Friday or 5:30 PM Saturday. The wake afterward will begin at 7 PM.
By tomorrow, I will lock in a day. The places for the memorial and wake will be announced and directions posted by Thursday night. Please mention if you are bringing spouses or friends. Children will now be allowed for people who have trouble finding sitters.
Folks, I am working on it. Suggestions of place are fine, but because we are all of differing faiths (and levels of it), church sites won't work out. Focus on places near Sunset Cliffs if you have ideas (Point Loma, Shelter Island, etcetera).
Please write in to me, or contact Melissa Senoff (SignOn), Marsi Bowers or Marie Salmon (Union-Trib) so that I can keep a good tally of who will attend.
Our love to all of you,
F.
By tomorrow, I will lock in a day. The places for the memorial and wake will be announced and directions posted by Thursday night. Please mention if you are bringing spouses or friends. Children will now be allowed for people who have trouble finding sitters.
Folks, I am working on it. Suggestions of place are fine, but because we are all of differing faiths (and levels of it), church sites won't work out. Focus on places near Sunset Cliffs if you have ideas (Point Loma, Shelter Island, etcetera).
Please write in to me, or contact Melissa Senoff (SignOn), Marsi Bowers or Marie Salmon (Union-Trib) so that I can keep a good tally of who will attend.
Our love to all of you,
F.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Little Drops of Hope
So a change in approach is paying off, but there have been issues. Marcie will take some water from an oral syringe. It's not much, but I think it helps wet her parched throat and she has taken several. We tried chicken soup broth. No dice. I will try again, even if it is late.
On another note, Marcie is also requesting more medication for pain. When I give it to her, she goes out like a light, though it takes a little time because I keep her dose, optimally, at enough to recover lucidity from if the pain fades . Overall, I just want to make sure her breathing stays relaxed and, not pained and rapid and I hope I can keep ahead.
If any of you ever need to care for a loved one who is suffering, remember that staying ahead of pain is better than catching up. The more pain your loved one is in, the more opiates or other painkillers you have to use to get them comfortable. This is how pain drugs work best.
If you have moral or recovery-based objections to or issues with the use of pain medications, many of which are potentially habit-forming, don't be a caretaker. Also remember that a patient need not be on their backs in bed to need pain control.
On another note, Marcie is also requesting more medication for pain. When I give it to her, she goes out like a light, though it takes a little time because I keep her dose, optimally, at enough to recover lucidity from if the pain fades . Overall, I just want to make sure her breathing stays relaxed and, not pained and rapid and I hope I can keep ahead.
If any of you ever need to care for a loved one who is suffering, remember that staying ahead of pain is better than catching up. The more pain your loved one is in, the more opiates or other painkillers you have to use to get them comfortable. This is how pain drugs work best.
If you have moral or recovery-based objections to or issues with the use of pain medications, many of which are potentially habit-forming, don't be a caretaker. Also remember that a patient need not be on their backs in bed to need pain control.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
An interesting read
Frances Shani's blog has a nice post on caregiver stress, including a video on the subject. But aside from that, she has a wonderful site about nursing homes and hospitals, something my generation will need to know a lot about in the coming years.
I have added Frances's blog to the links on the left. She is an author some of you might want to pick up a book from. Check her out!
I have added Frances's blog to the links on the left. She is an author some of you might want to pick up a book from. Check her out!
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Some resources for us all
Believe it or not, you don't have to be by Marcie's bedside to be a caregiver. I have added some links to my Link section (left side) to help everyone get information on hospice care, caregivers and other tidbits. I hope none of this is necessary for any of you for a long time to come, and I am largely providing it to help any visitors searching the web for help.